Why I Brainwashed Myself
by Hitsuji Kinno
Summary: Why King Endymion brainwashed Mamoru into breaking up with Usagi. One shot.


Created: 9/26/05

* * *

I can truly explain and must stress that being prone to being  
brainwashed is far from pleasant. First I got brainwashed when I was  
under Queen Beryl. Do you think I found pleasure that I was a minion  
for that woman? My long time enemy who destroyed my kingdom had her in  
the palm of her hand. And then there were other times too (though I  
must say my manga self is much worse). By the far worst experience was  
when I brainwashed myself. I should explain this.

People will blame my younger self for what happened when he broke up  
with Usagi because the dreams I sent him haunted him. I've heard that  
they are quite irrate over this, in fact. They hate him, when they  
should blame me and hate me instead. However, I should take the blame  
for what I did to myself and in effect explain why I did it.

I said before that the reason I sent him those dreams was so his and  
Usagi's love would be tested. I'm sure you guys all bought this reason  
hook-line-and-sinker. Now all of the blame is off of me and would have  
stayed that way if not for my daughter, Small Lady mentioned this  
occurance to my wife, Neo-Queen Serenity. She in turn made me sleep on  
the couch. I am forced to confess to this crime.

Let me see if I can remember what it was exactly.

I have to admit while I really love my wife a lot, she has quite  
terrible breath. OK, that's not it. (My wife is looking over my  
shoulder right now.)

Let me sigh for a moment here and suck up what my wife calls male  
pride. Male pride is one where we don't like to have our masculinity  
comprimised. Most of the population of men will not admit to it.

My wife has just informed me not to stall. OK, then I will tell the  
real story. I lost a puppy when I was 8 years old.

SHOVE

"Endymion!"

Men are impossible... I should explain as Queen of Crystal Tokyo that  
men never tell the truth unless they have to. Even my Mamoru when we  
were younger. They will avoid it if possible, if they can't lie.

Here's what truly happened: He found out--

LIGHT SHOVE

Alright, I'll tell them the truth. Have you ever noticed that all the  
flashbacks of me persuading my younger self were at our wedding? This  
is no mistake on my part.

It was a gorgeous day after getting back from Harvard, from doing my  
graduate's thesis, though I had not quite finished my term of study,  
and I had to go back to Harvard to finish, I was doing fairly well in  
America. My comprehension of English drastically improved to the point  
I could say things in English to my fiancee.

Usagi was bright and beautiful in her wedding dress, her eyes were  
shining bright as she walked down the garden aisle with me outside of  
the church. I don't think this is my proudest of moments, but I'm sure  
that my wife will tell the tale much harsher.

We said our vows solemnly. It was then when my new wife kissed me  
gently. She hugged me and said in my ear, "I'm pregnant."

I was a Harvard student working 3 jobs at the time, and I barely could  
afford to help with the wedding. I couldn't handle the thought of a  
child in 9 months. I was sure that Chibiusa--or rather Small Lady was  
far off into the future. She was not going to be born for another few  
thousand years.

cough Now some of you may wonder what I was doing with Usagi in  
that way. But one may not see it in her, but she is the type to  
attack me. She will pounce on me without much thought. Oh sure, she  
looks innocent right now with her big blue eyes, colored like the dark  
blue of the sky (not cerulean--which is too green to call her eyes  
that), but when I proposed to her officially, you should have seen the  
girl. Gold strands falling over her eyes seductively. She pounced on  
me and she-- What's that my Sweety?

"I said this is not supposed to be ecchi," Neo-Queen Serenity replied  
tartly.

"But Sweety, I get so lost in your big blue eyes, that I forget  
myself."

"Stop trying to delay, or it's another week on the armoir," Neo-Queen  
Serenity replied coldly.

Fine, fine...

The point is when I panicked. That was the exact day I sent those  
dreams back to my former self. It wasn't really that hard to do. I  
used Elios to send those dreams. He was a good man about it, and sent  
them back to my younger self. I lied about the reason. Dreams are  
ageless. They do not follow the currents of time. But the young man  
thought he should send them to Usagi too as an after thought. I know  
it wasn't bright, but I was under quite a bit of stress at the time. I  
lied to myself later--literally, when I said I sent them during  
Crystal Tokyo.

Happy now, my sweet? What? OK, I also said those words because I  
thought it would give some sort of romantic notion to them too. It's  
hard to appease Usagi.

I do love my daughter though, so don't mistake me on that. I did make  
it through College and was able to support my daughter.

"How were you able to do that, by the way?" Neo-Queen Serenity asked  
tilting her head.

"It wasn't that hard, I used the new royalties the anime gave me for  
the motorcycle, the luxery apartment, car, and other things. How much  
money they gave me is a secret. Now how much they gave me is a  
question to ask, isn't it?"

"You didn't actually steal those gems when you were Tuxedo Mask, did  
you?"

"That's for another time, dear."

"Mamoru! Uhhgh. Men."

"Call me Endymion, your loyal servant."

PAUSE CRASH

"Now what did I do wrong?"

Women.

* * *

Hate it like, it want to critique it, I take it!

The only note I have is the wives usually control the money in Japan.


End file.
